Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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