I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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