Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
