sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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