therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
