Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i was born a porn star she said
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
