All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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