Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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