We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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