we have officially lost it.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
