so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
