I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
