Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
