is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
