I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
