Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
