I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
