Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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