even my farts smell like vagina
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
