i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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