Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
