I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
