I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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