Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
