If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
