he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize