My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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