i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
