theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
