sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
