Moan for me like Helen Keller
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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