Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
