thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
