How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
