You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
why do cheetos always look like penises
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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