I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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