He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
