I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
