Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize