I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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