you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
