I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
