Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't make out with my wife yet
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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