Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
