FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
