Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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