you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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