So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Alive.
So much puke
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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