so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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