doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
