WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
