Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
