She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
