they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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