if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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